Tuesday, June 14, 2005
i am scared.
i am really scared.
i feel quite lost and uncertain about the future.
It's ironic that i am feeling this way, because i got into medicine. Getting the offer letter from nus med is literally the key to a highly planned and structured career path for at least 6 years.
5 years med sch, 1 year houseman, MO, registrar, doctor, specialist...
i SHOULD feel happy. Immensely happy. Euphoric.
I so much wanted to get into medicine.
After all that hard work, those painful days of waiting and waiting for the letter, i finally got what i wanted. And tonnes of people around me did not, which means i should feel even more thankful for what i have.
i am thankful. God gave me what i wanted. I used to think that if I didn't get into medicine, then maybe it's His way of telling me that I am not cut out for it. I will accept it, and move on. So now that I am IN, i believe He has intended for me to walk this path, and that He has a plan for me, which i do not yet know of.
But I feel lost.
No stabilising factor.
I am just drifting in this big sea.
[Jay Rawks`]
at 10:24 PM